Someone Should Just Kill Me. (HIM Sells Out Completely)

Passion’s Killing Floor, one of the songs from HIM’s new album, Venus Doom, is on the soundtrack for the Transformers movie.

No. I am not fucking kidding.

That’s all I have to say. It’s all in the title.

Edit: Warner Brothers Studio and HIM are now holding a “HIM’s Biggest US Fan Contest.”

No. I am not FUCKING kidding. This contest has everything: three minute videos to be posted on youtube, 12 year old girls lying to get around the 18 year age limit, a trip to Seattle to the first show of the Projekt Revolution tour (and we all know how I feel about THAT bitch), private concert with the band, all of which will be be put on HIM’s forthcoming DVD release. (Expect it 2008.)

How fucking delightful. I’ll have a video up on YouTube. Trust me, you’ll be able to tell which one it is.

Just Take My Goddamn Word For It: The Doors Rule Over Your Crappy Music

Quick background

 

The Doors were a classic rock band formed in 1965. (Yes, I say ‘were’ because the band ended in 1971 after L.A. Woman was released. Or, technically, on July 3^rd, 1971 when Jim Morrison died.) The original line up consisted of four members:

 

Jim Morrison – lead vocals

Robby Krieger – guitar, backing vocals

Ray Manzarek – keyboards, bass, backing vocals

John Densmore – drums, percussion

 

They released six albums as a complete band

 

The Doors (Recorded 1966, Released 1967)

Strange Days (1967)

Waiting for The Sun (1968)

The Soft Parade (1969)

Morrison Hotel (1970)

L.A. Woman (1971)

 

I love The Doors

 

Reasons:

1.      They’re the fucking originals. I don’t need any goddamn reasons.

 

Here’s where the bitching starts:

 

I don’t consider “Riders on the Storm”, Manzarek and Krieger’s band, still The Doors. Without Morrison, they are not The Doors. I know I shouldn’t just identify the band with him, but The Doors never would have existed without his lyrics and voice. Manzarek was an acquaintance of Jim’s, and they in turn recruited the rest of the band. They weren’t friends before. The Doors were built around Morrison’s vocals and lyrics.

Jim’s dead. The band is gone. I can’t go see them in concert. Annoying teenagers butcher them. Bad cover bands ruin them.

 

The Doors fucking own you. They are the best. I don’t even need to reason it. I’m right. Ask your parents, they’ll tell you so.  

All Right, Fuckwits. Listen Up.

There are a lot of people and bands that I strongly dislike.

 

Okay. I hate them. But I always have a legitimate reason. And when people do like them, I will sigh and roll my eyes and perhaps groan a little bit, but then I move on. I don’t have the time to waste arguing with people about why their music sucks or why mine is superior. I have what’s known as respect for other people’s opinions. (Mostly. Some people don’t deserve said respect.) Everyone has access to my opinion and that is that.

 

So when it comes to people that demand that you on the spot name bands that you like and then spend a ridiculous amount of time defending them, I get pissed. If it’s an opinion, then it can’t be wrong. It is physically impossible for someone’s OPINION to be wrong. You don’t have to like it, but you can’t claim it’s wrong. I will not waste my life defending my music or myself to you. This is my opinion. If you don’t like it, then don’t read.

 

Yeah, I’m a music elitist, but I’m respectful about it. Yes, there will be posts about bands that I hate, but if you disagree with me in a coherent, logical way, then I’m happy to listen to what you have to say. And then probably tear you to shreds in an equally respectful way.

 

Have you gotten the drift yet? I’m all about RESPECT. You know who I’m not respectful of? People who think they know what they’re talking about and don’t, but when you try to argue with you, they shove this one up your ass.

            “It’s my opinion and my opinion is right so therefore you’re wrong.”

 

My argument is an opinion too, ASSHOLE! SO THEREFORE I’M RIGHT.

We’re both right!

That’s the CONCEPT of the word ‘OPINION!’

FUCK YOU!

As you can see, people like this make me irate. Infuriated. Blinded with rage.

Here’s the point.

If you’re going to say “so and so band” sucks? Back it up. If you’re going to say I’m wrong, back it up. If you’re going to speak, back it up. And don’t try to interrupt me when I answer you.

Don’t ask me to spout bands on a seconds notice; I’m not good at that. As obvious by the fact that I put a lot of time into most of my posts.

I thrive on criticism, argument, sarcasm and insults.

Disagree with me respectfully and I’ll respect you.

Act like an asshole and I’ll hand you your ass.

I probably should have posted this in the beginning, but at that point I wasn’t so pissed off about fucksticks talking out their asses.

People Who Rag on My Chemical Romance Piss Me Off.

Quick Background

My Chemical Romance is a debated genre band that falls under the broad umbrella of rock. The band is composed five current members, plus one disputed member, and one replacement bassist.

Gerard Way, Vocals

Mikey Way, Bassist (on hiatus)

Frank Iero, Rhythm Guitar, Backing Vocals

Ray Toro, Guitar

Bob Bryar, Drums

Matt Cortez, Replacement Bassist

James Dewees (of Reggie and the Full Effect), perhaps permanent Keyboardist.

They currently have three albums, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love (2002), Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004), and The Black Parade (2006)

 

I love My Chemical Romance

Reasons:

1. The band is a true family, including the brothers Way. It’s obvious from onstage performance and interviews that every member in the band cares about all the others.

2. All the different sounds and musical backgrounds of the band members should clash and not create the atmospheric sound the band has, but they don’t.

3. MCR has never been looking for fame. When the got it, they just rolled with the punches and kept making amazing music

4. The band has been through so many difficulties, including breaking off with a close friend and former band member, changing their sound from album to album without getting stale or fake, G. Way’s alcohol and drug problem (which he has kicked, sober since August 2004), and M. Way’s emotional difficulty during recording The Black Parade (2006) and they haven’t broken up, staying a family through it all.

5. My Chemical Romance has the ability to cover Morrissey, the Misfits, Metallica, and even Mariah Carey with equal skill and finesse to give the song and original artist their due while at the same time making the track their own.

6. The whole band has an attitude against taking advantage of groupies, even when given the chance. They have equal respect for everyone, even people who aren’t fans of the band. Plus, they actually give a shit about their fans. Even the “poseurs.”

7. G. Way is not afraid to strain for a vocal or enhance the music with an odd vocal effect, voice, or scream. The emotion is there.

8. All the members are flat out nerds and they aren’t afraid to flaunt it. (Small example: Early Sunsets Over Monroeville is all about Dawn of the Dead. I love a good reference.)

9. They may have “sold out” but there’s nothing fake about their music, it still obviously means something.

10. MCR inspires a deep loyalty in the majority of their fans. Have you seen a group of dedicated MCR fans together? They’re insane.

You can’t rag on a band that has such loyal fans and makes such great music without being major league assholes about their fame and talent. You don’t have to like their music, but show some respect.

Here’s Where the Bitching Starts

My first complaint is a general one: I’ve been a fan of the band since their first album came out and the new fans piss me off. G.Way hates fan elitism, but sometimes it’s unavoidable when a quote, unquote “fan” doesn’t have a clue.

Anecdote

Back in the first days of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004) I was having a conversation with a girl that I used to be friends with. I mentioned an MCR song off their first album, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love (2002), and she immediately frowned.

“Is that a bootleg?”

“…No. It’s from their first album,” I replied unconcernedly, pulling out my second headphone to fully participate in what promised to be an insipid conversation.

“That’s not from Revenge,” her frown deepened as she became obviously perplexed.

“That would be because Revenge isn’t their first album,” my voice had deadpanned as my respect for this supposedly music loving girl vanished.

“Really? They have two?” she perked up, greedily envisioning my burning her a copy of Bullets.

“Yeah, they have two,” I was now as disinterested in the conversation as I would be in a Sunday afternoon golf game.

“Oh, that’s awesome. Do you have it?” the perkiness continued from this heavily eyelinered, whalish emochild.

“Yeah. I have it,” I could not be more horrified, annoyed, and generally pissed off.

“Could you burn me a copy?” a bright grin formed on her slobbery, grotesque lips.

“No,” was my terse, unequivocal reply.

“Oh. Do you not have a burner? Can I borrow it and burn myself a copy?” she tried, still oblivious to the fact that I was twitching to sink my fist into her vast, doughy middle.

“No,” louder this time, a staunch, maddening look forming on my delicate, lovely face.

“God, what is your problem?” she did not seem to notice her “punk” façade dropping away as a unblemished (unlike her face) valley girl took it’s place.

“You’re not getting a copy from me you slimy, bulging baby beluga,” the headphones were replaced and the volume cranked, Early Sunsets Over Monroeville blocking out her screechy, yet greasy, birdcall of a voice. She continued to squawk at me for several minutes before waddling away to join the sea of Hot Topic swathed whiny twelve and thirteen year old fans, squealing about Gerard Way’s epic hotness.

So endith a friendship.

As illustrated by this catastrophic event, some fans are not worth protecting from elitism.

On February 22^nd I went to a My Chemical Romance concert with a good friend of mine and one of her friends. It was MCR’s first show back in the US, their first show in the US playing full songs from The Black Parade (2006) and their first show with Frank Iero back from his illness.

With Gerard sipping tea and the liberal use of the word motherfucker, it shaped up to be a fantastic concert. Even with the crowding of obnoxious, fake fans and their parents down on the floor, as well as rude, grabby security guards, MCR did not fail to deliver.

Up against the metal barrier at the very front is the only way to experience a concert, especially one involving MCR and pyrotechnics. (Unless you are particularly attached to your eyebrows.)

Unfortunately, this concert did not have the same vibe as their former ones. It was simply too big, too impersonal, and too popular. I took away from the concert not only one of Bob Bryar’s used drumsticks but also a slight feeling of disappointment that the MCR of old was gone.

As I have stated before, when I love a band I love them to their fiery, fangirl filled apocalypse. Regrettably, I get the distinct feeling that this is where My Chemical Romance is heading. Naturally, I want them to be together and make brilliant music forever but that’s highly unlikely. As far as I’m concerned, My Chem is now about as mainstream as they come and therefore have lost a bit of their charm. Of course I’m still a loyal, dedicated fan, but in my eyes the band has lost some of their former magic.

Bam Margera is a Cunt.

All right kiddos, here’s the deal. I had a whole bunch of posts set up that led up to a spectacular finale of intense bitchery. Only I got caught up in having a life and didn’t update for over a month. So instead, I’m just going to roll it all into one fun filled, haterade guzzling bitchfest.

Enjoy.

I love Iggy Pop (and the Stooges). He’s amazing and all that shit, I won’t get into the list. He’s been making music for ages and he knows what the fuck he’s doing. He’s a goddamn legend and if you only know him from those god-fucking-awful Carnival Cruise commercials, then I hope you die.

Short and to the point? Iggy Pop is a goddamn god. Respect it.

I love Turbonegro. They’re ridiculous and out there and not afraid of jack shit. They rule over you and your crappy emo band. They’re loud and obnoxious and wildly inappropriate and come with a warning label. Also, foreign music just wins. It’s better than American shit and if you can’t accept that then fuck you. Again, I’m not bothering with the list.

I love the Misfits. They’re the original punk and they original always does it best.  You cannot go wrong driving around and blasting any of the Misfits old music. Plus, any good Misfit’s fan could definitely kick your ass for any sort of blasphemous remark.

So. Listed all together (and excluding the Projekt Revolution* post, which was not part of the planned events.) what do we have?

We have HIM

The Bloodhound Gang

Iggy Pop

Turbonegro

The Misfits

Anyone get what I’m hinting at?

Yeah, fuckin right.

Bam Marger ruins EVERYTHING.

He’s a dirty, smarmy, talentless hack that can’t do shit expect ride a skateboard and he’s not even very good at that.

He popularized the heartagram and HIM. He featured Bloodhound Gang and Turbonegro on his first bullshit TV show. (You know, the one that perpetuated the Elvis myth that ‘Viva’ is actually a word in Spanish. It’s not.)

And Iggy Pop was featured on his second, far more bullshit filled, TV show. (You know, the one about his ‘wedding’ to some chick no one’s ever heard of?)

He can’t help but flaunt what he considers superior taste in music by dressing in head to foot in band gear. The Misfits are my case and point, as there more scenes in Jackass Two where he’s wearing their symbol or mentioning them then there are scenes where you don’t see or hear from him. Fuck yeah the Misfits rock but now they just have that special taint, that light acrid aftertaste that only Bam fucking Margera in all his absolute cuntiness can provide.

Everything he touches turns to shit. Veins of Jenna is actually a decent band. Or at least they were until they signed with his ridiculous record label, Filthy Note. And now? Veins of Jenna is “that band that’s on Bam’s label! They’re awesome!”

FUCK YOU!

Jackass the TV show? Brilliant

Jackass the Movie? Magnificent

Jackass Number Two? Better than the first.

Bam? The pussiest little bastard on the face of the planet. I love the second movie twice as much simply because he cries TWICE. (Yeah. I said it. I hate him THAT MUCH.)

Like everything else in this post, I’m short and to the point.

He’s a fuckstick. I wish that he would fade into obscurity like he was supposed to after Jackass ended but he refuses to GO THE HELL AWAY. I won’t wish death on him because that could be considered a threat and I haven’t got the time for jail but Jesus Fucking Christ, someone needs to make that greasy little bastard SHUT THE FUCK UP!

The only thing worse than Bam Margera are his fans. The ones with heartagrams and his bullshit image all over themselves. I can’t turn around anymore without seeing some fat ten year old with a beanie and a tee shirt with BAM and a giant heartagram on it. I know you all know what I’m talking about. If you see these people, CAUSE THEM PHYSICAL HARM. There is no excuse for walking around in clothing that gives your body it’s own sound effect. No excuse. NONE.

*Projekt Revolution tickets are STUPID expensive and it’s not worth my time, money, or effort to go. I won’t put up with that shit, I’ll have to see the decent bands that are touring on it at another time.

Projekt Revolution Makes Me Want to Kill Myself

I have no wit today. The title is a blunt representation of how I feel right now.

This is an emergency posting that does not really deal with a specific band, or fit with the theme I had going for this week. (Yes, there’s a theme. Fear not, we’ll return to it and it will eventually be explained)

This post has more do to with the travesty of a tour, Projekt Revolution.

I hate rap/hip-hop/rock crossovers. I hate them. So from the very beginning, this tour has a problem. But I could move past it, you know, just ignore it. It’s headlined by Linkin Park, who I hate, so I could just ignore it. And I was, until I got a look at the line up of this tour.

It didn’t start out so bad. Placebo, I hate them so, fine. Taking Back Sunday, Saosin, possibly Mastodon. Not a big fan of any of those either, so… whatever floats Linkin Park’s boat is just fine with me.

My Chemical Romance is where things start going downhill, for me at least.

I admit, I love My Chemical Romance. I have since their first album came out in 2002. Their butchered and popified now, but I still love them. I can’t help it. When I love a band, I love them to their fiery, fangirl filled, washed up, sellout apocalypse.

I’m loyal, what can I say? So, if it were just My Chemical Romance, I would understand. They’re all popular now, so it makes sense that they’d be touring with a bunch of pretty shitty bands.

And then we come to the next stumbling block.

HIM. We all know how I feel about them and it’s another one of those “they’re pretty much sold out, but I’m clinging on until the inevitable implosion,” type things. So they make sense as well. I don’t LIKE it, but I can live with it, because it makes sense. Fairly logical band to have on the tour.

Here’s where we hit the part were I start tearing out my hair and screaming.

Mindless Self Indulgence. MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE! Touring with fucking LINKIN PARK! LIKIN PARK AND FUCKING TAKING BACK SUNDAY!

I honestly have zero composure right now, so obviously this post is more from the heart than from my reasoning skills.

I LOVE Mindless Self Indulgence. They’ll have their own post later on so I’m not going to get into WHY I love them, just be content with the fact that I DO. I own their CDs! I paid for them! I own their merch! I paid for that too! I love this band enough to actually spend my money on them! I’ve been to their shows, and I’ve thrown things on stage! I THREW MY SHIRT AT JIMMY URINE, OKAY?! OKAY?!

AND THEY’RE ON THE GODDAMN PROJEKT (with a goddamn K!) REVOLUTION TOUR!

They were a fairly unknown band. I liked it that way. I could enjoy them and their shows and know that the other people there were real fans, not bandwagon ones. I could listen to them in peace and not have to deal with fat scene girls and obnoxious ninety-five pound boys in girl pants.

Projekt Revolution is going to ruin them. With a line up containing HIM, My Chemical Romance, and Linkin Park every single scene/emo/ANNOYING FUCKER fan on the face of the PLANET will be drawn to that tour. It doesn’t make sense that they’re on this tour. Jimmy Urine HATES My Chemical Romance. He HATES them. It’s a recorded fact that he HATES Gerard Way and he hates the whole damn band. And now they’re touring together? I DON’T UNDERSTAND! It’s completely illogical and I hate it. And the worst dilemma is that I have to go to this tour! It’s a train wreck, I can’t not. I have to go and see every little bitch fan ruin HIM, and ruin My Chemical Romance and BUTCHER Mindless Self Indulgence. It’s not in me to pass up a chance to see three of my favorite bands all in one go. (And maybe more! The lineups not finished yet!)

I know that I will come home from that concert half bald, sobbing brokenly with broken hands from punching people. I know that I will. It overwhelms me and give me goose bumps to think about it. It’s going to be a disaster, and I have to go. I am going to force myself to watch the downfall of one of my favorite bands.

And the only POSSIBLE reason that I can come up with for Mindless Self Indulgence being on this tour is the fact that they’re touring with HIM on the Give It A Name tour in Europe right now.

That’s the ONLY connection I can find. And if HIM is responsible for the ruination of another of my favorite bands… I don’t know. I just don’t know. I think my head might explode.

It’s a little too horrifying to think about.

You, Me, Baby, and the Bloodhound Gang

Quick background

Bloodhound Gang is a comedy rock/post-punk revival band from Pennsylvania composed of five current members:

Jimmy Pop, Vocals/Guitar

Lupus Thunder, Guitar/Back up vocals

Evil Jared Hasselhoff, Bass/Back up vocals

DJ Q-Ball, Turntables/Vocals

The Yin, Drums

They currently have four albums:

Use Your Fingers

One Fierce Beer Coaster

Hooray for Boobies

Hefty Fine

I love the Bloodhound Gang.

Reasons:

1. They’re fucking hysterical

2. Their music could be considered rap or hip-hop, but has far smarter and funnier lyrics than “I slapped a bitch / and shot her pimp,” if you catch my drift.

3. Everyone knows their music, but no one knows that they do.

4. There is no such thing as the Bloodhound Gang going “too far” with a lyric or a song.

5. They manage to change and reinvent their sound from album to album without pissing off their original fans.

6. Each album is different from, and just as good as, the last.

7. They are always current and relevant.

8. All throughout the lyrics there are references to pop culture, classic writing, (Voltaire, anyone? Or J.D Salinger.) and old adages that everyone understands. (“You’re pretty when I’m drunk / and I’m pretty fucking drunk,” [You're Pretty When I'm Drunk, Use Your Fingers (1995)])

9. They’re one of the most offensive bands I’ve ever listened to, and it makes me love them.

10. They don’t apologize, so they get away with it.

Here’s where the bitching starts:

There isn’t any. I just honestly love the Bloodhound Gang. The only possibly complaint I can come up with is that they’re only playing shows in Europe right now, and unfortunately, I don’t live in Europe.

By never bothering to apologize or explain anything that they do, the Bloodhound Gang gets away with some of the nastiest, most offensive, and funniest lyrics ever. And they don’t just offend women or blacks or whites or Asians or Mexicans or Middle Eastern people or stupid people or mentally retarded people, they offend EVERYONE. That’s the best way to go about anything. Either piss off everyone, or don’t piss off anyone. And it’s almost impossible to never piss off anyone.

If I had to compare the Bloodhound Gang to anyone, I’d have to say they’re Carlos Mencia in music form. Except that they’re better than Carlos Mencia because they’ve been doing it longer, and they do it better.

When they have a point to make, they make it and that’s the end of it. When they don’t really have anything to say, they just sing funny shit. They say what they have to say and move on. It’s done effectively and bluntly without a wasted syllable.

I’m also a big fan of the “shorts” between a lot of the songs on the albums. Never longer than thirty or forty seconds, they’re just random bits that the band decided to throw in. The funniest one I can think of off the top of my head is “Overheard in a Wawa Parking Lot,” and it goes like this

“The only thing goin’ down in this car is the winda cuz your pussy stank!”

I did warn you that they were offensive.

Everyone has heard the song The Bad Touch, or at least parts of it. The best part about that song is everyone knows it, but no one knows the name of it, or who it’s by. And if you think that you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me help you out.

“You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals / So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel,”

You know the song. For future reference, it’s track ten on Hooray for Boobies (2000). Any and all of their albums are worth purchasing, or downloading. I don’t know how successful you’ll be finding them at your local FYE or Strawberries (because for the most part I don’t shop in those places) but they can definitely be found on iTunes, and major music stores are worth a look, at least. And if you have an awesome record shop in the vicinity of your residence, they can be found there. And if you don’t pay for music (which, admittedly, I generally don’t.) search your download program. You’ll probably find something.

HIM (You Know, That Band, From Finland?)

Short background:

HIM (Not H.I.M, damn you!) is a rock (I say rock because their genre is very disputed. I could also say Gothic Rock, Gothic Metal, Metal, Love Metal, or, I suppose, Alternative.) band from Finland composed of five members.

Ville Valo, vocals

Linde Lindstrom, guitar

Mige Amour, bass

Burton Emerson, Keyboard

Gas Lipstick, Drums (Yes. Stage names, for the most part. I actually haven’t got a clue what the real names are. It’s about the music, and even if I knew them I wouldn’t be able to spell them.)  Currently they have seven albums. 666 Ways to Love:  Prologue; Greatest Love Songs Vol. 666; Razorblade Romance; Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights; Love Metal, Dark Light; Uneasy Listening Vol. 1; and Uneasy Listening Vol. 2

I love HIM.

Reasons:

1. Melancholy lyrics that aren’t afraid to appear blunt. (But really they’re not. At all.)
2. References are found through all albums to famous writers. Poe and Baudelaire, to name a few.
3. Melancholy lyrics that are really about what all music is really about: sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. (Yes, there are songs that are about other things. I’m making what’s called a generalization.)
4. Foreign music just beats new American music. (There is classic American music that wins. We’ll get to it eventually.) It just DOES. Accept it.
5. Use of keyboard is brilliant. (I.E. Both the use of keyboard, and the keyboardist, Burton Emerson. I refer to stage names because they’re easier to spell.)
6. The heartagram (which, yes, IS HIM’s symbol. I’ve a whole rant on that as well. All in good time, darlings.) is an ace symbol.
7. Valo has a versatile, varied, and wide vocal range.
8. They only have one bad album so far, which is more than I can say about a lot of other bands.
9. Even their bad album isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard. It’s just comparatively bad.
10. They were a relative unknown in American up until late 2005. Which meant I could listen to them in peace.

Here’s where the bitching starts:

            My original HIM complaint was that Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights (2001) is an underrated album. Up until 2005, for anyone who knew HIM, the favorite album was either Razorblade Romance (2000) or Love Metal (2003). These are amazing albums, don’t get me wrong. Greatest Love Songs Vol. 666 (1997) isn’t too shabby either, but I’ve always had a special love for Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights. It wasn’t my first HIM album (that honor goes to Razorblade Romance.) and it wasn’t the best album I’ve ever listened to (I have yet to choose that one, actually.) but I always thought that HIM fans, even proper ones, never gave it the credit it deserved. Maybe I just like it best because no one else seems to, but up until 2005, that was my biggest complaint about the band and things associated it with it. (I.E. the fans). And then Dark Light came out.

            Dark Light (2005, their latest) is a crappy album. It’s very poppy, whether or not that’s what the intention was. It’s written and produced in such a way that, if you so choose, you can ignore any deeper meaning that could possibly be found. Either that or you’re between the ages of eleven and fourteen and the words “deeper meaning in music” mean nothing to you.  If you’re younger than eleven your favorite song is probably something from the Pussy Cat Dolls (AKA The Spice Girls version 2.0), and also, what the hell are you doing on the Internet without parental supervision? (Which is the only way you found this blog.)

            But I digress. I strongly dislike the album Dark Light, and I also eschew the singles from it. Wings of a Butterfly and Killing Loneliness are two of my least favorite songs from the entire album. The fact that I’ve been subjected to obnoxious young teens raving about them just makes it all the worse. The video for Wings of a Butterfly depends on too much green screen for my tastes and while the original video for Killing Loneliness wasn’t terrible, the newer one contains too many fangirls for me to have any appreciation for it. Though I do applaud it being pretty much a straight performance video and the shots of Valo being tattooed (as well as the tattoo itself) are very cool.

I could let Dark Light go. Really, I could. I have the ability to forgive and forget, especially stumbles and missteps from my favorite bands. They happen to the best of us. The problem in forgiving Dark Light is the next HIM album, due out July tenth. The name of the prospective album is, I shit you not, Venus Doom.  That is, quite possibly, one of the worst album names in the HISTORY of album names. And some of the track titles from this album include “Passion’s Killing Floor”, “Bleed Well”, “Love in Cold Blood”, “The Kiss of Dawn,” and “Dead Lovers Lane”.

Some of those sound good! They do! Kiss of Dawn? Bring it. Love in Cold Blood? Fits squarely in HIM’s vein of track titles. Passion’s Killing Floor? I can give it a pass. It has potential. I have faith in Valo’s song writing abilities.

Bleed Well is where we hit the “too emo to have a chance” realm of music. I haven’t heard the song, I can’t judge. When the album comes out, I will certainly give it a chance. But a song title like that just automatically sets a track back. Add that to an album titled Venus Doom and, well… I don’t know.

Dead Lovers Lane. I have a theory about this song. I think that if it embraces the wackiness of it’s title and is somehow connected to a serial killer, that it could be a truly fantastic cult classic of a song. Chances of that happening are slim to none, but one can hope I suppose.

I have hope for the album. From all accounts, it’s going to be very guitar-centric and the heaviest thing HIM’s done yet. I’m all for that. Anything heavy to scare away at least a few of the fangirls Dark Light brought about is a good thing in my book. Will I be purchasing this album the day it comes out? Yes. HIM comes in a very close second to my favorite band. (The Doors. They win. They just do.) Chances of me, on the whole, liking this album are better than I thought they would be. After Dark Light I just about lost all faith in any future work, but I may be proven wrong. (I hope that I am proven wrong. A lot of the time, I would like to be proven wrong. Generally, I’m not.) 

It comes down to this:  if Venus Doom is good, I can forgive Dark Light. If it’s not, then I will always be able to trace HIM’s downfall to washed up, sellout band to that album.

Here’s my final tidbit. Fangirls (and boys) are the bane of my existence. If your reasons for liking HIM include “Ville Valo is SO HOTT!” then I suggest you never visit this blog again. If you’ve ever pronounced Ville Valo’s name as Vile Valo, I suggest you never visit this blog again. If you stared at your computer screen in horror and cursed me for hating the song Wings of a Butterfly because, like, it’s your favorite song, I suggest you never visit this blog again. If Dark Light is the only HIM album you own, or the only one you’ve ever listened to, then I suggest you never visit this blog again. If you can’t name any of the members of HIM past Valo (I’d even settle for stage names, because those ARE what I go by. I love the music, not the men.) then I suggest that you never visit this blog ever again. If you own a HIM shirt from Hot Topic (In fact, if you own anything from Hot Topic that you didn’t steal.) then I suggest you never visit this blog again. And finally, if you frowned at number six on my list and frantically opened a Wikipedia page muttering “The heartagram is Bam’s symbol!” then I suggest that you never visit this blog again.

I know there are fangirls for other bands. I KNOW. TRUST ME, I BLOODY KNOW!  I just dedicated this post to my bitching about HIM, so I figured I’d use HIM fangirls as my example.

 

It Needed to Be Done…

I cannot find a good music blog on the web. I can’t. I’ve searched and I’ve tried and I can’t find one. Yes, I deal with underground music, but not that much of it, and is it so much to ask that at least one of the incompetent fools out there with Internet access and a blog have good taste? Evidently, yes.

So, therefore, the starting of my own blog was needed. I don’t care if you like it, if you agree with it, or if you even have a clue as to what I’m talking about most of the time.

I will deal mostly with music that I love. Sometimes I will deal with music that I hate. Occasionally I’ll deal with things I hate in general, and you will all be treated to a rant.

Mostly I’ll stick to the music.